Now it's time for "OH NO SHE DIDN'T"!

Have you ever thought about what it'd be like after you died? Would anyone remember you? Would anyone miss you? Have you ever looked back on like and say 'why can't life be like it used to be'? Have you ever had one of those moments where everything just falls into place?
I've done all of these in these past few days.
First, I will begin with the first question I pondered. I was wondering what would happen if I were to die. What would my brothers think? What would momma and dad do? It seems so depressing when you think about it. It is. Then i contemplated HOW I would die. Old age? Not too exciting I must say. I wanna go out with a bang. Something exciting I think. But I don't like this question too much so let's move on, shall we?
So, now to that 'how life used to be'. My sister came home last night from a haunted house with friends... drunk. SHe was more drunk than I've seen anyone in the very long time. I gotta say she was lucky my dad is in the middle east right now because he woulda killed her. With good reason though. But for some reason I couldn't stop thinking 'why can't things be like they used to be?'. Back when I went to Beach Middle and sis went to Ocean Lakes High. I guess you wouldnt understand unless you were in my shoes, but somehow those were the best months of my life that I can thing of.
Now for the last one. I was watching sis puke from the alcohal and I realize, if mom hadn't found her, I would have taken care of her and covered for her, no questions asked. It just seemed natural. It's kind of like... I suddenly understood her. I'm not sure if anyone else understands that feeling, but I like it. Even if I had to get it while my sister was drunk beyond anything I'd ever seen. She stupid and an idiot and a jerk, but she's my sister and it's my job to help take care of her. Even thought I am the younger sibling.
Thats all I have to say for now... you prolly don't understand any of my thoughts, because I guess this is just somethign for me to understand.

~Kel

Penguins? o_0

Hello my dear readers :) Ive had a rather wonderful day :D
SO last night a drew a picture that I thought would me awesome to share with ya'll

You like?

I'm not really sure what inspired it. But I gotta say, I like it :)

So me and my friends Kyle and Mallory were talking during english class and I found out that polar bears have black skin o_0. I did not know that before.

Today during world history, my friends Erica and I found a peice of apple that looked like a penguin. We had to work all class to get a picture of it without getting out phones taken haha

Does that not look like a penguin??

We were in love with that all class haha :)

Well thats all I have, so until next time...

~Kel

Choices... Choices...

Hmm, wo what do ya'll think of a girl who does taekwondo? Because, I am considering it. My brothers do taekwondo almost every night, and I looked today and saw that they have teen classes. I will probably be the highest grade, being a sophmore, but I think that is best because i would probably be embarrassed doing martial arts in front of people I have to see every day. I am rather self concious about that. I don't like to look like a fool. I think it might be rather fun to do some taekwondo. I guess i will see?
Well, thats my exciting life for now. I've been having some writers block recently. Hopefully that will wear off soon because I don't like when I have nothing to say.

~Kel

Imature? ...More like fun

Well it seems as if I've been skipping some blog posts. Though I doubt anybody has noticed.
So today, I took some crayons and a coloring book to school. Nobody really questioned it haha. Except in english when everyone wanted to color, too. So now you probably think I'm inmature for bringing a coloring book to school when I'm a sophmore in high school. Well I say you're just no fun. I am perfectly mature, I just enjoy coloring. Who doesn't?
Ayee my brothers' bus just pulled up. I love watching them come off the bus :) They're so adorable :))
Well thats allo I have to say for today... perhaps I'll get into the habit of writing again every dayy.

~Kel

Ayyee

...I'm a pirate? Haha, well no. But wouldn't that be so cool?
I think I skipped a day or two in my blog postings. I apologize my loves, I've just been rather busy.
So I found out today that there is a possibility that my Grandmother, Mamaw, may in fact have cancer. Yes, she is a smoker, but that's not the cause. She has acid reflux that she did not treat properly. It kind of makes me worry that I might get acid reflux and that the same may happen to me.
But I have years before I have to worry about that.
So my mother may have to go to Ohio for a few days sometime. We're unsure of all this, so I don't really have much to say on the subject.
So I guess that's all I have to say today. I'm rather tired and I must finish reading Julius Caesar for english class before I sleep.

~Kel

Why is it...

...That the pointless stuff I post gets a response, but when i post something with meaning, I get nothing.
It's just a thought. My last post really got to me, and I can say by the type I was done writing it, I was near tears. Which is why it's kind of rushed and not really written well.
Well, moving on...
I have to read some shakespeare later for my english class. I just finished my world history class.
I have the PSAT on wednesday. Why don't sophmores get scholorships? Is it pointless if a sophmore gets a perfect score? At my school, sophmores and freshmen in geometry or higher are required to take the psat, even though it doesn't count for them. To me, it's rather unfair. Why should I take a pointless test?
Oh well i enjoy getting shorter classes for the test :)
You know what I've been wanting to do lately? ...Well no, I guess you wouldn't. I've been wanting to make those string bracelets that almost all of us used to make as kids. Wow, look how I'm talking. "when we were kids". Makes me sound old. I'm only 14. One of the youngest people in my class.
Oh before my ranblings become pointless, I should go. I'll probably go look for some string.

~Kel

A true story of abuse.

We all think it'll never happen to someone close to us...
Until it does.
So I didn't post yesterday cuz I was rreeaallyy busy. My cousin was in the hospital with a skull fracture and bleeding around his brain. his name is Jordan. He is 8 months old.
So you ask, what happened to him?
He was abused.
My uncle and aunt did not abuse him, I assure you. It was the babysitter. She is the wife of a cop.
A few weeks ago, Jordon was vomitting and was sick. This was around the same time of the Similac recall. My aunt assumes he was only sick because of the similac recall. However, the doctor believes this was when the original bleeding in his brain began.
This woman has kids of her own, and one on the way. Her own children have been in "accidents" before, but it cannot be proven that they were purposely caused, or if they were really accidents. At 5 months old, one of her sons broke his nose. She claimed it was because he was trying to walk and fell. Her other son burned himself. She claimed it was because he jumped on the bed while she was straightening her hair. This could be possible, but it does make you wonder.
What disturbs me the most is the fact that she was very careful to hide that she was abusing him. There was never a mark on Jordan to suggest abuse.
So now you may be wondering, 'is it possible that Jordan only fell?'
Well, this possibility was considered. But, the bleeding around his brain was not only recent. There was also older bleeding there. They said he was for sure been abused on at least 3 seperate accasions, for at least 3 weeks.
How could someone be so cruel and heartless that they could abuse such a small child? It makes me sick that there are people like that, and she's a cop's wife!
It really makes you wonder, who can you trust?
Perhaps we'll never have an answer for that questions.

~Kel

Well Then

SO today was a pretty good day. Not really much to report here. We're begining to read Julius Ceasar in Enlgish. I tried pineapple upside down cake for the first time today... Not really a fan, I mut say. It was alright I guess. My grandparents are coming to visit and should be here within the hour. They're taking my bed for the weekend... I was really looking forward to sleeping in my bed all weekend... But it seems as if I have to wait until next weekend. :/ Dang. I'm thinking about writing a longer book-type-thing, about what it's like to live with my brothers who have autism. I think it's a really good idea, and I got inspired by the essay I had to write for english. I'm really proud of that essay, and I didn't even get all my thought and ideas down onto that paper. I don't know whether or not I'll ever get this book published, but I think it would be a good idea to write it. Just in case somebody might read it someday.
Oh, today was picture day :) I think I looked really good(the guy let me look at the picture after he took it). I can't wait until the pictures come in now because I looked absolutely amazing.
Well, I think I'm out of things to say now. When I started typing I felt like I had alot more to say. Hmm maybe tomorrow I'll have something more interesting to write about?
Well, I guess we will se, now won't we.

~Kel

Switchfoot

Oh myy, I went a day without a post?? Ah I am disapointed in myself. Though I was very busy yesterday. I get home and cleaned up the house and watched my brothers until about 4:30, then I had to go to my counseling appointment. I get back home at around 5:30, did my hair, changed, and at a quick meal, then it was time to go to... THE SWITCHFOOT CONCERT! :D Switchfoot is one of my favorite bands, and they are amazinggg in concert. And even better, it was a floor concert and my friend Lexxi and I got right up to the front by the stage. And the lead singer grabbed my handddd. :)) I didn't get home until almost 11. Then I had to do homework and get a shower and all, so all in all, I didn't go to bed until about midnight. And even then I was too hyped on Mountain Dew and adrenaline to go to bed. Though I can tell you, I rreeaallyy didn't want to get up this morning.
Well, at least I had an amazing new Switchfoot shirt to wear today ;)

Amazing Night :)

Well, that's all I have to say for now. Oh, and for those of you who want to know(I doubt anyone does), I did finish my autism essay. It was three pages long, front and back. Longest essay I've ever written, I think, other than my research paper last year.

Well, maybe I'll write some later.

~Kel

Dear Mr. Moon...

...Why can't you be so beautiful every day?
This morning I went outside and saw the moon looking very beautiful. It was a very thin claw of a moon, but I thought it looked nice. I tried to get a picture, but it's hard to get a picture of a small sliver of moon in a very large sky. It was a nice start to my... rather bad day.
Thought my day wasn't good, I was very happy to get some compliments on my newly dyed hair :)

Do you like?

But beyond that, today was not a very good day. My hair ended up being frizzy after I did it this morning, and I didn't have time to fix it before I had to run for the bus, I forgot my calculator at home and ended up doing very bad on a quiz in algebra 2 as a consiquence, and I almost got a detention in spanish for not being able to explain something in spanish as I came back from the bathroom, and on top of all that I had to run the pacer test today, and I did very bad. I'm not very athletic.

But tomorrow is a new day. My enlgish teacher told us we can write anything we want, as long as it is readable and in essay form. So, I decided I am going to write about what it is like to live with two twin autistic brothers. I'm not quite sure how to form it, though. I tend to kind of ramble on... What should I do? I need the rough draft in by tomorrow and I'm not even half done, and I am completely out of ideas to write about in the essay.  Well I guess all I can do is keep writing.

Well, I guess I should probably get to work now.

~Kel

Rain, rain...

Today in my study block, these girls were talking about their favorite weather. Of course everyone says sunny, hot, warm... I said I liked the rain. Now, to be honest, I don't think anyone really knew I existed in that class. Also, the girls in that class are veryy girly. So... Needless to say they were suprised when I started talking. They probably thought I was some freak emo kid, and personally I didn't care. I was bored.
So they're like "Why do you like the rain?"
I couldn't answer then, but here is my answer now:

It reminds me of... Me. It's a misunderstood beauty. People don't really look at how much it really is needed in this world. It's kind of nature's way of showing tough love. Thats how it really reminds rain of myself. I'm not good at being sweet. I'm not sure why, it just doesn't come very naturally to me. Perhaps this is a problem? I'm not sure, but my friends know I show my love and caring by being hard on them. So why do people complain about the rain? To me I think it has a kind of romantic quality. It makes it easy for me to imagine the perfect guy to appear out of the rain and carry me away to a better place, or that dream of the romantic kiss in the rain.
But of course, that doesn't happen.
But, one great thing about rain is what happens after the rain. The sun reflects off the water and it looks beautifyl on flowers, and create beautiful rainbows. And there is a sense of rebirth after the rain, like the world is refreshed. It makes me feel wonderful, like I'm more alive.
So be grateful for life, because life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about dancing in the rain.

Here we go...

Oh the great sounds of... screaming? My sister and my brothers are wresting at the moment, and it is always interesting to watch. Add their ages together and my brothers are 12. Do you think they could take down a 17 year old?
Nope.
Other than that, my day has not been too eventful. I should be dyeing my hair soon. I am putting a really dark brown, almost black, underneath the brown. I forget what it's called.
Suprisingly, I haven't had very much homework at all lately. There was more at the begining of the year than there is now. It's been like... 3 days since I've had any homework. I feel so lost haha, I have nothing to do at home anymore.
Momma has been pushing me to write more. Which is kinda why she encouaged me to start this blog, so I had a place to get all my thoughts and ideas on paper. I can just never quit finish any stories I start to right. I can never really connect the ideas right. And I'm very bad at ending my writing. I just never really understood how to do it.
Well thats all I have to say for now
~Kel

Saturday :D

Ah today is nearly over. It is always a sad time when a Saturday comes and goes, because it is definatly the best day of the week. mon-thurs you just with is was the weekend. Friday is torture cuz you know Saturday is tomorrow, so Firday seems to drag on. And Sunday, you know Monday is tomorrow. But on Saturday, you can sleep in and stay up late. It is simply the best day.
I got my hairnets for Foods class on Monday. We're making cookies :D  I love cookies. I also got my hairdye. We're putting brown underneath my brown.
I'm watching Major Payne right now. This has to one of my favorite movies, no doubt.
Mom tells me I should write more. Like, try and finish one of my many storied that I've started and always give up on. I can never just connect the ideas in my story. Though I've started a new one. But I also get really embarrassed when she reads my writing cuz I think she's gonna think I'm really wierd for what I write about or something. Or sometimes I dont even have a reason to feel ambarrassed. I just feel like it's be awkward for her to read it. I don't know. My best friend is coming over later for a sleep over :D We have a BFC Monster and a 12 pack of dr pepper so it will be a fun night :)

~Kel, signing off

yayy

This is my first message sent from my phone :D this means i can post more up-to-date things and post stuff right when i think about them!

brrrrr

Ahh it is my favorite time of year... The cold time :) It's very odd here, though. It's chilly out, yet it is so sunny.
But one downside to the cold is the fact that there aren't any butterflys around. I love butterflys :) I saw a huge one on my rose bush this morning. It fly all over my flowers, avoiding my camera, but I got it!

Unfortunatly, I think this cold whether is getting my sick. I have a stuffy nose and a sore throat. I hope it doesn't last through monday because in my Foods class we're supposed to make cookies, and I really like cookies. That, and i don't think my cooking group could last without me in the kitchen haha. But on the upside, I got Starbucks last night :D

Haha sorry for the pretty suckish looking picture. It was late and I was tired. My eyes look like 0_0 Haha. Maybe I'll post later ecause it's only 10:30 in the morning, and I have a pretty busy-ish day planned. Hopefully we'll finally be able to dye my hair and get my hairnet for Foods class, but for now, I'm signing off. <3

"In the Eyes of the Hunter"-Poem

~This is just a poem I write today during school. I don't know what I think about it. It's kind of just. Odd.~

I run swift as the breeze,
Running from the life I once lived,
Searching for a life among the trees.
I've heard the stories,
But I must be brave,
Even if the spirit of this place,
Sends me to my grave.

I watch her run,
She thinks this life is easy,
Maybe even fun,
But this is my place,
My place to be free,
I must hunt her down,
She can't escape me.

I hear it's sound,
The long, mournful howl,
And I know I have been found.
I know it hunts me,
I must find a place to stay,
so in the morning I can escape,
And finally get away.

She tries to hide,
She doesn't realize,
Nothing is on her side.
It will be easy,
Done with a single bite,
She won't even scream,
Won't put up a fight.

I see it now,
It has traveled fast,
Though I know not how.
I stare into the eyes of the wolf,
It's hard to believe it's here,
It's eyes pierce me,
My body fills with fear.

She is sick,
I smell it on her.
Her death should be quick.
I show my fangs,
I move in,
But that scent in the air...
The scent of my kin.

I feel something inside,
A primal instinct,
As if I could brush this demon aside.
I take a step forward,
It takes a step back.
I know it can feel it,
This desire to attack.

How can this be?
She't not a hunter,
Not like me.
But this look in her eyes,
It is not of man,
But she cannot hunt,
Not as I can.

I don't heasitate to leap,
As the instinct takes over,
This is my life to keep.
Instict drives me forward,
I can't keep still,
I don't think it realizes,
I'm moving in for the kill.

I can't move fast enough,
I never imagined this death,
This can not be over quick enough.
With death comes peace,
And so ends my reign,
She is kind and quick,
I feel no pain.

My first kill,
Proves I will survive here,
Proves I have the will.
They called me crazy,
So I ran away,
They said I was sick,
And now I have a place to stay.

(79 lines, 11 stanzas, 7 lines per stanza)

Long Friggin Dayy

Today lasted foreverr. the ground was muddy this morning on my way to the bus stop and I got my feet all wet and muddy :/ It wasn't cool. Then during Biology my teacher stood over my shoulder cuz she seemed convinced that I couldn't finish my work as fast I did(it was all super easy), then in gym my teacher made us run the pacer and I felt like I was gonna pass out. In Algebra 2, I spent the whole time texting as usual cuz I already knew what we were learning. And last of all, my Spanish 3 class lasted foreverr. But my spanish teacher is hillarious so its okay.
You can probably tell that I don't really have anything to say today. Just thought I would write something, because I wanna try and write some every day.

Now, I need food. Then, I need sleep.

Then my day is done.